The number one challenge I hear from couples coming into counseling is their difficulty with communication. Communication is a broad, general term that can encompass many things.
Communication is a need for connection; to be seen and heard. When I reach out to you, my partner, I have a need or longing that I want fulfilled. If, for some reason, my partner is not reaching back to me, or reaching back to me in a way that tells me I’m not being heard, then my need/longing is not being met. Then I feel disconnected, alone, and hurt. It can feel like I don't matter to you. These are what we call “negative cycles” where partners go round and round in loops of talking, arguing, or fighting with emotions escalating and defensiveness getting in the way of listening and responding.
Couples counseling helps partners break out of their negative cycles, and learn healthy communicatio ...Read more